Mr Drunk Ex-Cop, Mr Bodyguard, and Mr Tron
by LT Rex Cole
Summary: When Jon "JonTron" Jafari decides to go to New Jersey to visit the state, he has a pretty terrible night. However, it gets worse when he's forced to fight against some mafia guys that want him dead. With the help of Max Payne and Raul Passos, Jon has the biggest night of his life in the Garden State.
1. Chapter 1: Bringing the Payne

**Alright, reading the title and description, you're probably wondering why JonTron is joining up with Max Payne and Raul Passos. First off, I'm writing this because there isn't that many JonTron fanfics out there and I wanted to put my own twist. Secondly, Max Payne and Raul Passos have to fight all those goons in New Jersey. Since Jon lives in New York, I figure that he goes on a little vacation and happens to end up in this situation, with Max and Passos trying to get him and themselves out of it. Anyways, read on to find out what happens.**

"Man, New Jersey. What a bunch of horse hockey!"

That was Jon Jafari, also known as JonTron on YouTube, expressing his disdain for the sister city of his home New York. Currently, he was walking around the snow ridden area of New Jersey. He had intended to visit there as a way to get his mind of YouTubing for a bit and maybe coming up with another idea for his channel. However, the mind numbing cold was the only thing that Jon could think about currently.

"Hey, maybe I should do a video about the cold." Jon remarked, using his joke voice, "Yeah right, like anybody would care about my trip gone wrong. I mean, who would? It certainly isn't you!" Jon said to somebody.

However, that somebody turned out to be a pile of snow.

"I'm going crazy, am I?" Jon asked himself, a stupid smile being plastered on his face, "Okay, better find a place that has heating."

Jon's trip to New Jersey was certainly a terrible one. First off, the taxi that took him didn't even bother dropping him off by the hotel he was going to be at. Secondly, when he arrived at the hotel, they apparently screwed up his reservation, causing to choose sleeping on the streets or in a small little hotel area. Having enough of being cramped in a small room, Jon decided to go out for a little walk. Eventually, after around twenty-five minutes of walking around, Jon eventually gazed his eyes on a building that had the words, "Walton's Bar" in front of it.

"Well, if I want to forget this terrible experience, there's no better way than a bottle of Scotch." Jon remarked, walking into the bar.

Heading inside, Jon noticed that it wasn't just a bar, as there were some pool tables in the back. Sitting on a stool next man with a jacket, a tie, and short black hair, Jon waited for the bartender.

"What will you be having?"

"Uh, Scotch." Jon replied, with the waiter going to get the requested drink.

As Jon waited for his drink, the man sitting next to him was gazing at the drink in his hand. However, he soon looked at Jon. Studying the man next to him, he could deduce that he wasn't like most people, as underneath his jacket he was wearing a plaid over shirt and t-shirt that has the words "Starbomb" on it. Although Max Payne wasn't the one to start conversations, usually just drinking until the painful memories managed to slip away for a short amount of time, he decided to talk to the odd man, believing that if it messed up, it would just be one of his many bad choices that were made in his life..

"You're not from around here, are you?" Max told Jon, who was caught off guard by his question.

"Hm? Oh, no actually, I live up in New York."

"A fellow New Yorker huh? I haven't been there for a while." Max mused, sipping his drink, "What brings you here?"

"Aside from being next to New York, not much." Jon replied, "I came here to see what it was like. So far, pretty terrible."

"How?" Max asked, seeing if Jon's experiences were as bad as his.

"Well, the taxi didn't even bother to take me straight to the hotel. When I did get there, the hotel screwed up my reservation meaning I have to sleep in a small room. I came here to wash this night from my memory."

"I've been doing the same thing for five years. Still haven't forgotten. I probably won't be able to no matter how hard I try."

"So, what's your name?" Jon asked, trying to change the subject, noticing it was touchy.

"Max Payne, yours?"

"Jon Jafari, although most people call me JonTron."

"That's a first." Max remarked.

Suddenly, three men walked into the club, acting like they owned the place.

"Ooh, where's the women!" The first one asked.

"I need to get laid baby!" The second remarked.

"Put the music up, we're here!" The last one yelled.

"Oh, fucking great." Max groaned, sipping his drink.

"Who are these guys?" Jon asked, being turned off by their behaviour.

"Some fucking Jersey rich kids. These assholes have been annoying me for days."

Unfortunately, for Max and Jon, the trio made their way over to where they were sitting. However, they seemed more interested in Max than Jon, who started drinking his Scotch, trying to ignore the trio. They started to mock Max, who somehow managed to ignore them.

"Line 'em up, line 'em up, line 'em up." One of them said, standing next to Jon, making him uncomfortable.

"Hey, let me ask you a question." Another asked, "Where the fuck are your donuts?"

This question caused laughter amongst the trio. However, it simply irked Jon while Max kept looking at the man who asked the question.

"Seriously, I thought I told you to get out of here, old man."

"Yeah, old man!" Another added.

Drinking the last of his alcohol, Max turned to the man right next to him.

"That's a nice echo. Do you gorillas have personalities of their own, or do they just agree with everything that they say?"

"Very funny old man. Very fucking funny." The man who asked him about donuts told him.

"This guy's hilarious." Another added.

"Yeah, has been washed up old cop. Should go on TV." The third added.

"Yeah, you should tell some jokes of how you got your wife killed, or some shit."

Hearing this, Max stared at the man while Jon's ears perked up when hearing this. Realising why their previous conversation about their experiences was touchy, he quickly gave a quick glance before resuming drinking his Scotch.

"Yeah, where's the little old lady?" The third mocked.

"Or how you got involved with killers." The man who brought up his wife added, "I own this town amigo."

Putting down his empty drink, Max chuckled at his statement.

"That's a good line. Do you practice that in front of the mirror in your underwear? Your father own this town."

For the first time, the trio was left speechless.

"Yeah, dear old dad… well known drug dealer and murderer. You're nothing but a chump."

"Hey don't disrespect my family, you ain't got the right."

After he said that, the man suddenly noticed Jon, sitting and sipping the drink he had in his hand. Observing that he didn't look like a regular at the bar, he decided to mess with him next, as making fun of Max only brought so much excitement. Walking over, him and his two friends were standing behind Jon, who acted like he didn't see them.

"Hey buddy!"

Turning around, Jon noticed the trio standing behind him.

"May I help you?"

"What the fuck are you doing here?!"

"Yeah, get out!"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought this was "Walton's Bar", not "Mr-suntanned-guido-with-a-woman's-jacket-and-a-serious-case-of-being-that-guy-syndrome's Bar!" Jon told him, his voice getting louder as he kept talking.

"Hey, have some fucking respect when you talk to me!"

"Why?! I'm trying to forget this night with a nice bottle of Scotch and you choose to fuck with me. Well, I aiiiiiiiiiiin't having that shit!"

"Don't act clever, you fucking plaid shirt wearing dipshit."

"Fuck you!" Jon yelled, the alcohol quickly setting in.

"Oh you think you're funny, tough guy?"

"At least I'm not a reject from Jersey Shore! Heugh Heugh Heugh!" Jon replied, laughing in his usual way."

"How does it feel to be burned from your next door neighbor, chump?" Max added, drinking another Scotch.

Tired of constantly getting insulted back by not only Max, but also a visitor from New York, the man pulled out a gun and pointed it at Max and Jon.

"Say you're sorry, you motherfucking cocksockers!"

Although there was a gun pointed at them, Jon and Max kept their eyes on the man who held them a gunpoint.

"No, no, no! Look away and say you're sorry you motherfucking has been cop and plaid shirt wearing asshole!"

While this was going on, a man wearing a hat and overcoat walked in. Noticing the commotion, he slowly walked up to the gunman and his pals, while grabbing something hidden in his coat.

"Don't stare at me, look away!" The man ordered.

"Which you want first?" Max asked.

"Don't act clever, you leather jacket dip shit cop cunt. Don't act clever."

The hat man wearing pulled out a revolver out of coat and pointed it at the gunman's head.

"Put the gun down son!" The hat wearing man told him.

"Who the fuck is this?" One of the trio asked.

"Put the gun down." The man repeated.

Doing as he told, he put his pistol on the counter.

"Thank you, thank you. Now get the fuck out of here, before one of you gets shot."

"Who are you, you spic fuck?"

"Go on. Fuck off." The man continued.

"We're coming back for you, you fuck." One of the trio added as they left the bar.

"I look forward to it." The man replied, holstering his revolver and turning around, "Max fucking Payne. How you doing man?"

"I'm doing as good as I look." Max replied, not knowing who the man was.

"You don't remember me? Passos?... Raul Passos? Come on, we went to the academy together man? You don't remember?" Passos told him.

"That's going back a long way, man."

"Wait a second. Max, who's this guy?" Jon asked.

"This is Raul Passos. Former NYPD detective turned bodyguard."

"And who's this." Passos asked, gesturing to Jon.

"This guy's Jon Jafari. Tony DeMarco decided to fuck with him when they got tired with fucking with me." Max told him, drinking another shot.

"Nice to meet you." Passos greeted.

The time afterward was sort of a blur for Jon. He kept drinking as many shots as he could to forget the night, as being held at gunpoint made him more unnerved than before. Meanwhile, Passos tried to convince Max to join up in being a bodyguard. However, Max refused and was about to leave when Passos offered to buy him a drink.

"Sure, anybody can buy me a drink." Max replied.

"I'd do it!" Jon yelled.

"Like I said." Max said.

What happened afterwards were Max, Jon, Passos, and a lady wearing leopard jacket drinking their hearts out. It was all going well. However, the good times were cut short when Tony DeMarco and his goons came back.

"You faggots still got something to say to me?" Tony asked as he pointed his gun at the group.

"Okay, now that's just inappropriate." Jon scolded.

"Oh, well I'm sorry, _mother_!" Tony replied.

"Yeah, sorry mom!" Another one jeered.

"I also have something to say." Passos said, turning around, "Fuck off."

"I don't like spics who tell me to fuck off."

"Well good for you. Now, fuck off."

There was a few tense seconds of the drinkers looking at Tony. Eventually, Tony decided to insult the woman, as he already had his fill for the other three.

"Don't stare at me, whore!"

Getting up from her seat, the woman approached Tony like he was nobody.

"Fuck you asshole, no dick asshole."

"What'd you say to me?"

"You heard me. I'm not frightened of you, you spray tan guido douche."

Not liking what she said to him, Tony pistol whipped her, causing her to cry out in pain and collapse to the floor. Without thinking, Max whipped out a pistol and immediately, shot Tony in the chest, killing him. Passos also whipped out his revolver and shot the man next to Tony. With all this happening, Jon was just looking on in shock, while the bartender led the woman behind the counter.

"What the fuck!" Jon yelled in surprise.

"Come on!" Max grunted, dragging Jon to cover just as Tony's boys started shooting.

With the situation getting worse, Max and Passos began to return fire as Jon was waiting until they managed to kill all the men in the bar. When that was done, Jon started to run to the front door, only to be stopped by Max.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"I'm getting out, what do you think?!" Jon told him, trying to wriggle free of his grasp.

"Bad idea. Tony's dad, he runs this town. My guess, these guys are here to kill, me, you, and Passos." Max informed, "Our best bet is taking these guys out and getting the fuck out of this place."

"I agree with Max." Passos added.

"God dammit. Fine! Just get me out of here!" Jon relented.

"Alright, one more thing." Max added, picking up a P220 and some mags, "Ever shot a gun before?"

"No. I played a lot of shooters though." Jon replied, taking the pistol and placing the mags in his jacket.

With that said, Passos kicked in a door that led downstairs. Making their way down there, the three saw there were more goons. Diving from the stairs, Max managed to score a headshot on all of the goons there.

"Woah, how'd you do that?" Jon asked, amazed.

"Look up Einstein's theory of relativity." Max replied blandly, "Time to see what's waiting outside for us."

"Well it ain't going to be a warm cup of milk or a blowjob." Passos joked.

Picking up any ammunition and weapons that the group needed, they made their to the exit through the kitchen, which led them to the chilly outside. Moving up the stairs by the wall, the group heard voices. Peeking over, Max saw a group of mobsters standing by two cars. Giving the group the signal, Max started blind firing, catching the mobsters off guard. While they were distracted, Jon and Passos popped out of cover and started firing, managing to kill a few. Eventually, the car caught fire and blew up, killing most of the mobsters. One was left however, and Max killed him when he dived out of cover.

"I ain't waiting for any more mobsters to show up." Jon remarked.

"Me neither, come on Max!" Passos agreed.

Walking down the alley, the group were trying to find a way out, only to be stopped by more mobsters in a vehicle.

"Oh byotiful, more guys." Jon joked.

"They ain't going to make this easy for us, are they?" Max asked.

"Stay over here, cover me!" Passos ordered, running for a ladder.

"Yes sir."

Facing the incoming mobsters, Jon and Max started shooting, killing a number of mobsters. Soon, Passos got into position and managed to provide supporting cover for the two, who dived behind a trash can. Killing the last guy, the two met up with Passos.

"You guys good?"

"Fucking great. Nothing wipes the image of bad hotel room with tons of bodies." Jon replied, exasperated.

"Keep it together man, we're almost by my house." Max told Jon.

Making their way into Max's apartment, he allowed Jon and Passos to get in.

"It's a… "nice" place you got here homie." Passos told his friend, looking around the house.

"Thanks for noticing." Max replied sarcastically.

Grabbing three shot glasses and a bottle of beer, Max invited the two men to sit with him.

"Why are you living like this?" Passos asked.

"Like what?"

"You know, scratching around, sitting in bars all day."

Pouring the beer into the shot glasses, Max scoffed at the remark.

"Maybe I just haven't found the right guy to put a bullet through my head yet. I just don't know."

"I can get you work, Max. Work only a guy like you can do."

"Could you get me work sitting in a bar feeling sorry for myself? Where do I sign up?" Max replied, handing two shot glasses to Jon and Passos.

"Saude." Passos replied, drinking his beer.

"Gesundheit." Jon told him, drinking the beer as well.

"You were the best guy in the academy. And you won medals on the street." Passos continued.

"Hey, I lost loved on in the streets. Alright? Family… more than once."

"Yeah I know." Passos told him, "So leave. Start over. You've mourned enough."

Drinking the beer that he had in his hands, Max stopped for a second to reply to his friend.

"I ain't a cop no more."

"This ain't cop work. This is protecting in places where the cops ain't too hot."

"No thanks pal." Max replied, "I think I'll…"

"Hey, as much as I want to interrupt your conversation, I NEED to get back to New York." Jon interrupted.

"Don't worry Jon, I got a connection in Queens. We'll lay low for a few days and then you can go home."

"How can you be sure that guy's dad won't come after me." Jon asked worriedly.

"Don't worry, DeMarco may be the king of this town, but he's just a tiny bug in New York." Max reassured.

As the three men were speaking, they began to hear a man giving orders outside. Making their way to the window, they saw a old man in a suit standing outside with a bunch of armed goons. Then, he turned to the window.

"I'm coming after you, you motherfucking murdering bastard! Me and a hundred angry greaseballs!"

"Jon, say hi to DeMarco." Max told him.

"Shit." Jon muttered.

"Max Payne! MAX PAYNE!" DeMarco yelled, "You killed my boy! You killed my only son!"

"We got to get out of here." Max told the group.

"Tssh, right behind you." Jon replied, taking his P220 out.

Drinking the last of his beer, Max went outside into the hallway with Jon with Passos leading the way. However, he noticed lasers from snipers shining through windows, which caused him to run to the end of the hallway. Also, some mobsters converged on their position However, they were easily taken out. Going back into his apartment for a second, Max grabbed a Remington 870 while Jon picked up a M1911 and some ammo for it.

Going back into the hallway, Jon and Max used their pistols to take out the snipers. Moving up, with Max taking a MAC 10 from a dead body, they tried to use the door Passos ran through. However, it was locked. Before they were able to get to another door, a thug came running down the hallway.

"Hey, you're fucking dead!"

Before he could pull the trigger, the door in between them was kicked open and the thug was blown up with a 12-gauge to the face. Their rescuer turned out to be Max's insane neighbor, Brewer.

"Shhhh. Shhh, my boy. Don't be afraid of the fires. You'll think they'll hurt ya. You think they'll char your skin and char your bones, but it'll make you clean in the long run."

"Uh-huh" Max replied, as Jon looked on with confusion.

"The joys of hygiene!" Brewer added as he disappeared around the corner.

"That a friend of yours?" Jon asked as he and Max tried to find a exit.

Suddenly, Max and Jon heard commotion. They saw Brewer talking to some incoming goons, only to blow himself and them up with a explosive device.

"Was." Max answered.

Going to where Brewer blew himself up, Jon and Max found some stairs that led to the roof. However, it also led to some goons, which were taken out by Max and Jon. Jumping across the rooftops and shooting any goons that got in the way, they eventually made it to a water tower. With nowhere else to go, they hopped on top of it and slowly made their way around, as some more hitmen showed up. Unfortunately, the water tower started creaking, causing Max and Jon to slip. Catching the attention of the hitmen, one shot his AK-47 rounds at it, trying to prove that nothing was there. However, he hit some support beams, causing it to fall.

"Oh shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!" Jon rambled.

"Goddammit!" Max grunted.

With the water facing the goons, Max and Jon managed to take em out with body shots and head shots, leaping off as the water tower collapsed into the streets below.

"Well, that's going to suck cleaning up." Jon remarked, looking at the remains of the water tower.

Suddenly, Passos ran through the door.

"You need help guys?"

"We needed help, five minutes ago!" Max panted, annoyed.

"It looked your were doing fine." Passos replied, picking up a MP5 and some ammo off the ground.

"Well, you can only do so much when I fall off a fucking water tower!" Jon panted, "I hate New Jersey!"

"You'll get back to New York soon." Passos replied, "Hey, it looks like there may be a way down through the wreck up here." He observed.

With Max giving his Remington to Jon and replacing it with a AK-47, the trio proceeded to move up, only to be forced into cover by some more of DeMarco's hitmen in the wreck. Taking out the guys, the three eventually made it outside on a balcony, making their down the steps, onto the next rooftop. Passos then broke the one of the windows with the cinder block, allowing the three to jump through.

"What the fuck?" A man asked.

"Holy shit, it's the cop!" Another yelled, running out of the open door.

However, this little plan attracted the attention of DeMarco's guys, who soon converged on their position. However, they were soon killed by the group, which allowed them to get a breather. After the last guy was killed, Max started to lead Jon and Passos around New Jersey. The only problem was is that he seemed to be lost.

"Ugh, dead end." Max grumbled, shaking a locked gate.

"I thought you knew your way around New Jersey." Jon joked.

"Shut it, Jafari." Max replied, climbing over the fence.

"Need a hand?" Passos asked.

"No. Do you?" Max replied, hopping over.

With the three over the fence, they began to walk down the alleyway.

"So, now what?" Passos asked.

"I'm dead in this town, I need to get out of here."

"Alright, let's go. I'll call my connection." Passos replied.

"Yeah, please do. This trip has gone from bad to worse." Jon told them.

"Not yet, I need to do something." Max told the two.

"What?" Passos asked.

"I gotta say goodbye one last time."

 **Sooooo, this was a long as fuck chapter, and it was done over the course of two days to boot. Guess I'm dedicated or something. Anyways, I hope you people enjoyed this beginning. Next time, we'll see Jon, Max, and Passos fight through the cemetery. Anyways, check out the other two stories I have and I'll see you later, Lt-RexCole out.**


	2. Chapter 2: Don't Mess With Jon

**Alright everybody, welcome back to this story. Previously, JonTron had to team up with Max Payne and Raul Passos. They then had to fight through all those goons in New Jersey. Now currently, the trio has to fight more of DeMarco's boys. Read on to find out what happens.**

When Max said that he needed to say goodbye one last time, Jon was confused of what he meant. However, making their way to the cemetery in Hoboken, Jon found out why. Standing on the snow covered ground, Jon, Max, and Passos saw the grave of Max's wife and baby daughter, Michelle and Rose Payne. For the first time in his life, Jon felt depressed, as he never ever had to come in contact with this, even though he barely knew Max. However, since it wasn't his wife and kid, Jon felt he shouldn't stick around.

"We'll give you a minute, buddy." Passos told him, as he and Jon started to walk off.

"Thank you." Max replied.

"What happened?" Jon asked.

"Ever heard of Aesir Corporation?" Passos replied.

"Yeah, they made that drug. Valkyr, wasn't it?"

"Yeah."

"What does that have to do with anything?" Jon asked confused.

"Well, the CEO of Aesir, Nicole Horn discovered that Michelle, who worked in the District Attorney's office, found a dossier on the Valkyr. Seeing her as a threat, she sent some guys pumped up on the drug to kill her. Not only that, they also killed his baby."

"Jesus, that's fucked up." Jon replied shocked, "What happened to Nicole?"

"Max hunted her down and killed her." Passos informed, "If that was my wife and kid, I would've done the same."

"Me too." Jon agreed.

Suddenly, they heard gunshots ring out. However, shortly afterward, Max jumped down to regroup with his allies..

"Jesus man." Passos told him, holstering his pistol.

Opening the gate in front of them, the three continued on their way.

"Sorry, I just had to say goodbye." Max told the two.

"You okay?" Jon asked.

"I will be when I get out of here. I have a feeling those weren't the only guys DeMarco sent after us."

Suddenly, they heard the sound of a car engine behind them.

"I got that feeling too." Passos added.

Pulling out their pistols, the trio started to shoot at the car, with Max managing to kill him when he shot him through the windshield. With the problem finished, the three started to move up, only to be stopped by more mobsters.

"There he is!" A mobster yelled, "The money's mine!"

Suddenly a grenade was fired at the trio.

"Holy shit!" Jon yelled, running for cover with the other two following suit.

"That's if there's anything left to identify the bodies with!" Another added, as another grenade was fired.

"You good?"

"Yeah, we're fine." Passos replied, as Jon held his P220 in his trembling hands.

Waiting for the guy to fire another grenade, Max entered bullet time mode and popped a shot at the grenade. The two connected, which resulted in a large explosion which killed a lot of mobsters. With the three finishing off any more mobsters and with Jon picking up the grenade launcher, they continued on.

"Here, through the gate." Passos told the two.

As they entered, they heard some voices. Moving up slowly, Max, Jon, and Passos saw a group of hitmen standing around and talking about how they're going to split the bounty. Signaling Passos, Max gestured him to distract the hitmen. Running down the hill, Passos walked into sight.

"There he is!" A hitman shouted, before he was killed by Passos.

With the hitmen distracted, Max signaled Jon to fire a grenade. Aiming it for the large group, Jon fired, which resulted in most of their deaths. Finishing off any remaining hitmen, Max and Jon started to pick up weapons and ammo when they heard something over the radio.

"I got someone. I think it's the hit. That Max Payne." A mobster said.

"The other guys may be here as well, where you at?" Another replied.

"Over by this circular thing. The hit, he's like Latino or something?"

"Which hit? Payne or the other ones? Just hold onto him."

"Looks like they got Passos."

"No shit, Jon. Come on, let's go!" Max replied, cocking a Remington.

Moving up and taking out more mobsters, Jon and Max opened a gate which led them to Passos and a mobster holding them at gunpoint.

"Hey look man, be cool, be cool." Passos told him.

"Don't tell me to be cool!" The mobster told him, "You Max Payne?"

"Who?"

"Hey, fucking funny."

"Yeah, whatever."

Walking towards the mobster with their guns aimed at him, he eventually noticed and pointed his pistol at Jon and Max.

"Which one of you are Max Payne?"

"You're looking at him, dipshit." Max replied, walking down the steps.

"Hey, you make one more move and this guy, whoever the fuck he is gonna get fucking dead!"

A few tense seconds later, Jon noticed mobsters moving on both sides of the fountain area.

"Max."

"I know."

"Look man, give yourself up and De Marco may have a change of conscience, huh? Might grant you one last reprievement. Ain't know no reprievement gonna be found otherwise."

"I don't even know who he is." Max replied.

The moment he said this, Max fired a bullet from his MAC 10, landing a headshot on the mobster, allowing Passos to grab his pistol and escape.

"Hey thanks bro!" Passos yelled.

"I said my goodbye's, let's get outta here!" Max yelled back.

With Max taking out mobsters with his Remington on the left side and with Jon blowing up the mobsters on the right with the last of the grenades, the hostiles in the area were taken out with the three moving up to a gate. Before they could open it, another man did it for them.

"Holy shit, what is going on out here?!" He asked, obviously scared.

"Don't worry about it, just get out of here!" Passos replied.

"Sounds like a fucking war's going out here!"

"Calm down!" 

"What's going on?" Jon asked, dropping his grenade launcher. 

"Nothing." Passos replied, turning to the man, "Come on, get out of here!"

As Passos said that, a mobster with a sniper rifle in a nearby tower tried to shoot him. However, he missed and killed the man instead, his brain matter splattering everywhere.

"Sniper!" Passos yelled, running for cover with Jon and Max close behind.

Once in cover, the trio were out of the sniper's line of sight. However, in doing so, they painted themselves in a corner in which they couldn't leave without one of them being shot. Although the situation looked dire, Passos suddenly came up with a idea.

"Hey Max, if I cover you, will you be able to move up?"

"That's anyone's' guess." Max replied.

Raising his gun over cover, Passos started shooting at the general area of the sniper. While he was distracted, Max moved from his spot and took cover behind a tombstone. Once he did that, some mobsters came out of the church in front of them. Taking them out quickly, Passos cover Max again, allowing him to move up again, while taking out some more mobster. Getting cover a third time, Max managed to score a headshot on the sniper, taking him out for good. With that done, the trio entered the church to catch a breather, only to be caught off guard by some goons hiding in the church, who took their guns away. Leading them outside by gunpoint, they led them directly to Anthony DeMarco, who was looking at the trio with hate.

"You killed my son." He said, "You killed my fucking son. My boy. My only son."

"Listen, I'm sorry." Max replied, only to get a shovel to the stomach.

"Fuck you!"

"Sorry for you loss." Passos also said, "But your son was killed in gun battle, a battle he started."

"Shut your fucking mouth! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" DeMarco yelled, hitting Passos in the back with the shovel, "Fuck you! You killed my son! You fucking spics!" He yelled, hitting Passos in the head before turning towards Jon, "You! Dig! Now!" He yelled, throwing the shovel at Jon before sobbing and being led away by two goons.

As Jon was digging a hole, he couldn't help but feel bad for DeMarco, as it was understandable why he was angry at Max. However, he didn't feel so bad as he knew he was digging a hole that would presumably be a grave for him and his friends and the countless mobsters that shot at him made Jon have little sympathy for DeMarco. After digging for a minute, Jon realized something. If he was going to die, he was going to die doing something good.

"Fuck it." Jon spoke, throwing dirt into one goon's face before turning around and killing the goon next to him by stabbing him with the shovel and finally spinning around and throwing the shovel like a boomerang, managing to score a hit when the fleeing goon was killed when the shovel lodged into his brain.

With Max shooting the distracted goon, Jon helped his two friends up.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, we're fine." Passos replied.

With Jon picking up two .45's, Max picking up a MAC 10, and Passos picking up a Remington, they proceeded to move on and take out anybody that got in their way. Once they killed everybody, they moved into a building and ended up in a morgue.

"How appropriate." Jon remarked.

Taking out everyone in the morgue, the trio found a set of stairs that led them to some closed doors.

"You go first." Max told them.

"What a gentleman, thank you." Passos replied, opening the door.

Scanning the area around them, the trio discovered that they were in some sort of church.

"This place looks as good as any to make a stand." Max observed.

"At least the coroner won't need to go far to go to work." Passos joked, causing a laugh from Jon, "We need to find a phone!"

Walking to the pedestal, the trio heard noises coming from the back. Getting into cover, they saw some mobsters walk in cautiously. Signaling his allies, Max opened fire with the two doing the same. They managed to kill a lot of mobsters. However, somebody with a rifle on the balcony started pinning them down.

"Shit!" Jon cursed, feeling bullets whiz past his head.

"We can't move Max!" Passos informed, "You gotta take him out."

Running out of cover, Max made his way to the balcony and killed the guy. As he did that, he saw a lot of goons converging on Jon's and Passos' position. Picking up the rifle for himself, he killed the guys in the room in a flash.

"Okay, let's find that phone and make that call!" Passos told the trio, "THere's probably a landline in that office!"

Running up the stairs, the three barged inside. As they did that, Passos started to look around the room, much to Jon's and Max' confusion.

"Uh, what's going on, Passos?" Jon asked.

"Where's the landine?" Passos replied, "I don't see it."

Max then pointed at the desk, which made Passos understand. Picking up the phone, he began to dial a number.

"I think we'll be alright." Passos told the two.

"At least for a little while." Max replied.

"Let me just call somebody, get a little help and we'll get out of here." Passos told Max, hearing the person call him pick up, "Hey, hey. It's me. Look, we really got to get out of New Jersey, Yeah, things are heating up, we got half the New Jersey mob after us. Uhh… in a cemetery in Hoboken."

 **So that's that folks, Jon gets to escape with Max and Passos. Next time, there's going to be a epilogue and a few joke chapters after that. Hope you enjoyed this, check out my other stories, and I'll see you next time, Lt-RexCole out.**


	3. Chapter 3: The Aftermath

**Welcome to the last chapter of the story, this focuses on Jon, although there's a flashback discussion with Max. Here, Jon's back home safe and sound. Or is he? Read on to find out what happens.**

Jacques the Robotic Bird was sitting peacefully in Jon's Home. For once, he didn't need to deal with Jon's constant rambling and consistent yelling and horrendous singing ringing through the household. The best part was that Jacques was alone for three days, with only himself and his female companion, Cinnamon to keep him company. However, that was soon going to come to a end as suddenly, Jon burst through the door.

"Jacques, you won't believe what happened a few days in New Jersey! Jim Belushi came into the bar and James McCaffery blew him up then we fought Arnold Schwarzenegger on top of a water tower with Abobo backing up Conan! And, and, and."

"Jon, have been taking crack?"

"No Jacques, what's wrong with you?" Jon replied, snorting a line immediately after he said this, "Anyways, I fought some mafia tuffs but thank god they can't come here!" He added, laughing before noticing a newspaper on his table, "What's this?"

Picking it up, Jon saw that the main picture was Anthony DeMarco standing in front of his home with a bunch of goons with him while the main headline read, "Anthony DeMarco Declares War!" while the subtitle read, "He's heading to JonTron's home right now!"

"Oh shit, Max Payne you lying piece of shit!" Jon yelled, only to be silenced by the banging of his door.

Backing up, Jon knew he was going to be faced with several angry goons with guns. The first thing he thought of doing when they came through the door was to fight back. However, Jon left his guns with Passos because he believed he'd be safe from harm. Looking around the room, he noticed his two robotic birds sitting stoically, which gave him an idea. Grabbing them, he put one of them on each of his index fingers.

"Alright Jacques, when those guys come through the door, you and Cinnamon will shoot your lazers and we'll take out DeMarco."

"Won't you get killed by the bullets?" Jacques questioned.

Thinking about what Jacques said, Jon remembered a conversation that he had with Max a few days ago.

 **A Few Days Ago**

 _After finally escaping from the Hoboken cemetery, Max, Jon, and Passos_ _were residing in a safe house in Queens at the moment as they waited for the heat to die down. While Passos talked with his friends, Jon approached Max, who was sitting down on a couch._

" _What do you want Jon?"_

" _I just wanted to know how you that trick of yours?"_

" _What trick?"_

" _The one where you could shoot a grenade out of the air just as it was just fired."_

 _Sighing, Max began to explain._

" _Time is relative to the observer. When you're looking down the barrel of a gun, time slows down. Your whole life flashes by, heartbreaks and scars. Stay with it and you can live a lifetime in that split second."_

" _Kinda like adrenaline?"_

" _You could say that."_

 _With this new knowledge, Jon walked away, leaving Max to mope some more._

 **Present Day**

"Don't worry Jacques, I got this."

Just as he said this, four mobsters with automatic weapons burst into Jon's home and pointed them at him. Just like Max told him, time slowed down with Jon thinking about all the horrible events that occurred in his lifetime as he lept into the air and fired lazers at the goons. As he landed on the ground, Jon noticed the goons dead.

"Jon, what was that?" Jacques asked.

"I lived a lifetime Jacques, that was happened right there." Jon replied, heading out of his door.

Meanwhile, DeMarco was standing outside Jon's home waiting patiently for the guys he sent in to come back. Although Max Payne and Raul Passos were long gone, DeMarco figured that somebody should pay for his son's death, that somebody being Jon, although he heard reports that Jon was a unwilling participant in Max's activities.

"What's taking them so fucking long?" He asked a goon.

"Don't know boss, they'd say they be back already."

"Well someone has to pay for Tony's death." DeMarco replied, "And if it can't be that Max Payne or that fucking spic, it has to be that guy."

Walking to the entrance of his apartment complex, Jon hid behind a wall and saw DeMarco talking with a goon.

"Alright. Jacques and Cinnamon, are you ready?"

"Yes." Jacques replied simply, while Cinnamon simply chewed Jon's finger.

"Alright let's go!" Jon exclaimed, opening the door, "Hey DeMarco!"

Hearing the voice of Jon, DeMarco saw him standing on the doorstep with two birds on each finger. Before he could give the order to fire, Jon lept from the doorstep with the birds shooting lazers from their eyes. The last thing DeMarco saw was the demented look on Jon's face as the birds tilted their heads and shot two lazers at him.

 **2 Months Later on the Panamanian Canal**

Two months after escaping from New Jersey with Passos, Max began to do bodyguard work with him. Currently he was supposed to be protecting a woman named Daphne Bernstein. The why he was supposed to is that he woke up from a bad hangover and immediately had to fight Panamanian pirates while being overall confused on how there was no one else on board besides himself and the people who wanted to kill him. Currently, he was walking through a lounge and noticed a newspaper.

"DeMarco Dead." Max read, looking at the headline, "Jon Jafari and his two birds take down the crime family in 20 minutes."

" _When I told Jon he'd be safe from DeMarco, I was completely bullshiting him. It would've given me something else to hit myself for the rest of my life but yet, here he is alive and well. If I'd known he had two robotic birds that shot lazers, I would've asked Passos to make a detour and let them melt my brain."_

Before Max could say anything else, he heard the sounds of more pirates up ahead. Dropping the newspaper, he drew his Glock and rushed through a nearby door to engage them. However, the thought of Jon and his victory was soon forgotten, replaced by more questions and more moments of shoot outs.

 **There we go people, hope you enjoyed this story. BTW, I may be gone a while because of High School and shit, hope you don't mind. Anyways, check out my other stories and I'll see you later, Lt-RexCole out.**

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